Loome's Blurb for BHB

At the risk of never being permitted to buy books from Loome again, I have decided to post their "sales" blurb for my fantasy, The Black Hole in the Basement.

I must point out that the book is not available from them, and it is not to be found on their web site. Do not try to call and ask to buy a copy, even if you do have $11,500. They are not going to sell theirs. At least not yet. They are waiting for the sequel. But I was mistaken! See below...

Thursday, Doctor. The Black Hole in the Basement. (publishing house details omitted) Pennsylvania, 2007. Three unbound stapled booklets, 8vo, [32pp]+[28pp]+[48pp]. Purported fictional account of how magical beings use a black hole to disrupt activities at a world-renowned used-book store. Author a known lunatic. Soon after its release Benedict XVI resurrected the Index of Forbidden Books and placed it there, warning faithful Catholics to avoid this book "like the plague". Extremely rare.
Price: $11500.00

Update!!!

I sit corrected. I was wrong! This book is on their site - just do a search for "Thursday" as author!

Incredible. (We have not yet heard from Roma about the Index, but one never knows.)

I guess I will have to get busy on the sequel(s) now. I do have a new spin-off story finished, and I've gotten good reviews so far. Stay tuned for more incredulity.

another update

I forgot there was also a spurious movie blurb written by some imbecile in our organization. No one has approached me about making a movie, about BHB, the novel, or any other story. Not yet anyway. That will no doubt occur soon after the books come out. (Yeah, sure) But here it is, and if it digs my hole even deeper, so be it:

Visit Quayment, see the amazing Weaver's Bookstore housed in an old church (any resemblance to bookstores in Stillwater, Minnesota is entirely accidental), watch the crazy antics of the Weaver triplets (will Mark actually hit Matt with a banana slice flung off his spoon?), ponder the struggles of Auntie and Uncle as they confront the Enemy (Who are they, anyway? Where is their power from? And what are people like them doing, vanishing and appearing, drinking from floating teacups and going to DAILY MASS?) and learn the WHOLE story of (drum roll)

THE BLACK HOLE IN THE BASEMENT.

Coming soon to theaters everywhere.

Thank God it doesn't give away too much. But if you got about 12 grand to spare, you can read it before the movie comes out. (I expect the price will come down sometime, you know how the market can be. Hee hee.)

Oh, man. Now I gotta do illustrations for it...