HalloweE.n coli

HalloweE.n coli

The lab was all quiet that late afternoon.
The pumps had stopped hissing their sad vacuum tune.
The profs and the grads to their parties had gone;
No one would be back until long after dawn.

"The last human's gone" sensed security gear,
Beyond human hearing it signalled ALL CLEAR.
Freed was the lab then from what was expected
Planck, Darwin, Newton and Einstein rejected.
The cultures came merrily out of their dishes
The hamsters and rats lent a paw to the fishes.
The plants with their roots in fresh fertilizer
Played some hard rock on the gene synthesizer.
Drosophila squadrons put on an air show.
"Let's keep the lab neat, and no humans will know."

"It's Halloween now - costumes all is the rule."
The samples at zero C shouted "How cool!"
The reagents cried "Yeah! Let's party tonight!
One hour to dress, then we'll sleep at daylight."
Three thousand six hundred times the wall clock ticks,
Then out from their places the life forms did mix.
The hamsters in costume as test tubes stood guard
With five kinds of enzymes each done up as lard.
Some foil-clad DNA claimed that they were wires
And others with loops painted black looked like tires.
But the being that won the best lab-costume vote
Was a human-dressed virus in a big white lab coat.
The chloroplasts out of their host cells did pop
And grabbing a phage said "Let's dance till we drop!"
The mosses like wallflowers chatted with maize,
Near the cocktail bar sunlamp they soaked up the rays.
A ribosome screamed "Hey, let's all take a ride -
Just crank up the volts on the sequencing slide."
A neuron, caressed by a Schwann cell, its date,
Said "I wouldn't try it, you'll just separate."
"No way," said the ribo, "your source was moronic,
I'll first dip myself in solution ionic."
A nematode laughed on its laughing-gas itch
Then slid to the panel and pulled down the switch.
In a blink it was done, but no one shed a tear
For the ribo had left a remarkable smear.

The life of the lab o'er the counters did race
Dancing around at an ATP pace.
They dipped in the P-32 for a snack
Then they danced on some film paper wrapped up in black.
For hours they talked and they danced and they ate;
Though unscientific, the party was great.
But finally the rats, the phages, and clover
Saw it was late and the party was over.

The profs were the first in the lab that strange morn,
They noted the spills and the papers all torn,
The film all exposed, and the sequencing smear...
"Oh, we wish the grads would have saved us some beer."

(This poem was made October 28, 29, 30(AM) 1992 while I was attending an "unnamed school".)